I had all but posted a long entry about my previous week of grief, anti-commitment fuelled anxiety and less than productive training when a flash of introspection hit me. I realized that I was getting caught up in what was merely a small ebb that will soon be followed by a much more enjoyable flow. It was interesting how my body manifested my emotional state. My fears and grief coming out in aches, pains and constant fatigue. A phenomena I witnessed my mother experience for many years.
It was the 10-year anniversary of my mother’s passing last week and it affected me much more severely than I had expected. I typically try and do something spontaneous and fun to honor her memory. She was the kind of lady who would buy rollerblades for all of us on her 40th birthday or do front flips on our backyard trampoline. She would set out picnic lunches on our covered front porch during roaring Ontario thunderstorms and spend hours building sandcastles with us at the beach during our summer holidays. She was the victim of many illnesses and now supports my unconventional passions and pursuits through non-physical forms (insert personal belief system in the after-life here).
Last week someone special in my life inspired me while explaining how they managed their trials and tribulations through optimism, resilience and physical activity. What a combination! After considering these wise words (and a few glasses of very delicious Scotch) I soon realized how good I have got it. I am living my dream, pursuing my passion and growing as a person. A cramped room with a Murphy bed instead of a spacious condo, home cooking and cheap beer instead of unlimited ‘’night’s out on an endless tab” and a greater distance from my support system (you know who you are) is a small price to pay.
The long and the short of this post is that, why waste time and energy focusing on the bumps in the road when the trip is so much fun and the destination is well worth it. After one enlightening conversation and a brief trip back to Calgary for a few catch-up sessions with my most-favourite people (so much good food and beer), my mindset went back to optimism, resilience and my levels of physical activity returned. Funny how that works. This one is for you mum.